Johnny

Here I am again.
Like the captain of a ship,
This pen and pad are my vessel.
I care for them.
Never letting them leave y sight or my thoughts.
The ink flows from this pen,
As does the emotion from my heart...
And from this I will never part.
She never knew it, but this is my true love.
The one I loved before her
And the one that never stopped loving me.
All these tears from sadness or happiness fall on the paper,
Like the angels that fall from the sky,
Dragging with them the high hopes and dreams of the children that are trapped inside each of us,
Wanting to get out but we won't let them.
Too busy with our jobs and bills to pay attention to the little one inside.
The laugh that creeps out of our mouths every time we see that stupid commercial
Is the closest that that young child comes to escaping.
Why don't we tear ourselves open,
Leaving our bodies gaping.
Letting out little Johnny and Susie,
To run,
And laugh,
And play?
But instead we just go about our day.
Never wondering or thinking about what it would be like to let go,
But otherwise think of the bills we need to pay.
And so I write.
I find my love again,
Because I am guilty,
Guilty of keeping the little one hidden away.
Not wanting him to come out because I am too afraid of what people will think.
Instead I write,
Letting him out this way.
I write.
This is what we both love.
He likes to go from my heart,
And my head,
Through my fingertips,
Into this pen,
Only to spill onto this small canvas...
In sloppy writing and confusing wording.
But he loves it,
I know he does,
Because that child is me.
The pen dancing intricately on the ballroom floor that others will call paper.
So here I am again.
This is my vessel.
Never giving it up.
And never letting it go.